One in a Million

The “I’ll Be Happy When” Syndrome

In a world addicted to achievement and milestones, many of us live by the silent belief: “I’ll be happy when…” This reflection was born from a conversation with an old friend on a porch swing and a $17.99 Walmart camping chair—symbols of simple joy that remind us happiness isn’t at the top of a mountain, it’s right here at our feet. This article explores how Western culture has sold us the illusion of future happiness, and why the most peaceful moments often come not from success, but from presence. If you’ve ever caught yourself waiting for “someday” to finally feel content, this one’s for you.

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Please reach out if you related to anything in these articles or they trigger experiences in your own life.

A Note from Me to You

These articles are personal reflections — shaped by my experiences living in Africa, Asia, Europe, and the U.S. They’re not meant to be universal truths, but rather open windows into the cultural patterns I’ve witnessed and the questions they’ve stirred in me. Much of what I write here is about the quiet ways society can make us feel like we are the problem, when really, we’re responding in very human ways to a world that often feels disconnected or misaligned.

If something here resonates with you — if you’ve ever felt frustrated, misplaced, or just tired of trying to “fix” yourself to fit into systems that feel off — I’d love to hear from you. You’re not alone. This space is here to invite honest conversation, shared stories, and connection.

What are you navigating? What systems or beliefs have weighed on you? What are you hoping to shift?

I’d be honored to walk beside you on your path.

“Beware of destination addiction: the preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up that idea, happiness is nowhere.”

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– Robert Holden

Moments of Bliss are in the Simplest of Things

I was chatting with my friend Tony the other day, he was sitting on his old porch swing—looking out over his garden, coffee in hand, listening to the cicadas. “This is about as good as it gets” he said. It got me thinking. When we get older, everyone needs that one chair.

You know what my favorite chair is? Not some velvet red queen’s throne, not the fancy leather recliner, not the posh moon chair. No—my throne is a $17.99 Walmart camping chair. Why? Because I can hang upside down on it, cross my legs, lie sideways, swivel like a goof and a goon. It’s the comfiest thing I own. It’s mobile. It’s got a cupholder for my lighter and speaker, a little compartment for cigars. And I can pop it anywhere I like—by the lake, in the trees, in a parking lot watching fireworks. That chair is my throne.

The Simplicity of Happiness

It’s funny, isn’t it? We spend years, decades even, chasing the big velvet chair—the one that screams success, wealth, power. The mansion with the manicured lawn. The perfect job. The five-car garage. But you know what everyone dreams about deep down when they’re older? That moment when they can just sit in peace, look out over their garden, their pool, their view, with a hot drink in hand. That chair. It’s always about that one chair.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
– Epictetus

Tony has his swing. I have my camping chair. Everyone needs that chair. Where they sit and say ‘I did it’. Or just sit and enjoy that perfect peaceful moment. Lately Tony and I have been talking when he’s on his swing and I’m on my camping chair at the lake and we both agree it’s the perfect feeling in the world. Coffee in hand, looking out over the lake, into the tree’s and listening to the cicadas. And all that cost me was $17.99.

The “I’ll Be Happy When” Syndrome

We live in a society addicted to the “I’ll be happy when” mindset.

I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.

I’ll be happy when I can afford the travels.

I’ll be happy when the kitchen is finally renovated.

I’ll be happy when I’ve got the perfect house, the savings, the success.

But then we get the job and our kids start misbehaving.
We get the car but in a few weeks we are used to it.

We spend all year dreaming about our planned holiday and then spend the whole holiday dreading going back to work.

We sit in our large mansion at 86 and would trade everything just to be 21 again.

“If you’re always trying to get to the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?”
– Eckhart Tolle

There’s this hilarious story Eckhart Tolle tells in one of his live talks where he pretends to finally build his dream house, sits down on the porch and thinks, “Ah, now I’m happy.” But then the mosquitoes show up and he thinks, “Damn, I should’ve built it further up the hill.” We’re never quite there, are we?

Simplicity Is the Shortcut

We think happiness is at the end of a long road of achievement. But sometimes happiness is just round the corner at Walmart—waiting in the camping aisle. My chair cost less than 20 bucks. It gives me more peace than a leather recliner ever could and more comfort than a $2,000 mattress from Mathus Brothers.

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little.”
– Plato

The West has sold us a dream: success equals happiness. But often, success just means more things to worry about. The spouse with too many credit cards in her purse, the stress of maintenance, the pressure to stay on top. And by the time we finally get to where we think we can be happy our whole life has passed and we’re 86.

Real Wealth Is in the Present

My lawyer once asked me, “Would you rather be rich or young?” And honestly, rich people would give everything to be young again. If you think of what rich people would pay to be young again, or pain free if they are in terminal pain, then you are wealthier than they are if you are either young or pain free. This is a new way of weighing up what ‘wealth’ is. If your rich and in a miserable marriage, how much happier is the poor couple who is in love and have great communication, understanding and companionship. Which is happier day to day?

This is what I’ve been learning lately. The power of the now. The joy of simplicity. The wisdom in less. We waste years chasing the “when” and miss the miracle of the “now.”
This is the heart of it: we don’t need the billion-dollar mansion. We don’t need the kitchen renovation to feel joy. We need the chair.

The chair is everything. Our happy simple space where we enjoy what matters to us. It’s where we connect with the moment. Where we say, “This is enough.”

So go find your chair.
Forget the throne.
Sit in now. And be happy. Don’t wait for ‘I’ll be happy when…….’

“Many people are so poor, all they have is money.”

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— Bob Marley

I’d Love to Hear From You

If anything in this article spoke to you, or sparked a thought, I’d love to hear about it. Whether you want to explore these ideas more deeply or simply share what’s going on in your life right now, you’re warmly invited to reach out. You don’t need to have it all figured out — I’m here to listen, reflect, and walk beside you in whatever part of the journey you’re in..

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RESOURCES

Below is a List of Resources – Read, Watch, Listen and Be Inspired!

Books

“The Art of Happiness” – Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler
Explores happiness as an internal state rather than something dependent on external achievements.

“The Happiness Hypothesis” – Jonathan Haidt
A deep psychological and philosophical dive into what really makes us happy — and why modern success often doesn’t.

“The Power of Now” – Eckhart Tolle
Famous for teachings about how the present moment is all we ever truly have — including the story you referenced about the mosquito!

“Stumbling on Happiness” – Daniel Gilbert
A Harvard psychologist explains why our predictions about what will make us happy are often wrong.

“The Book of Joy” – Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu
A beautiful conversation between two great spiritual leaders about finding joy in simplicity and the face of suffering.

“10% Happier” – Dan Harris
A skeptical journalist’s journey into mindfulness and how less striving led to more peace.

“Walden” – Henry David Thoreau
A timeless meditation on living simply and deliberately, away from the clutter of ambition.

Podcasts

The Happiness Lab – Dr. Laurie Santos
From the Yale professor who teaches the most popular class on happiness ever created.

On Being with Krista Tippett – especially episodes with Pico Iyer and Thich Nhat Hanh
Explores themes of presence, joy, and meaning in everyday life.

Unlocking Us – Brené Brown
Episodes on joy, gratitude, and letting go of “not enough” thinking.

TED Talks

“The Surprising Science of Happiness” – Dan Gilbert (TED Talk)
One of the most-watched TED talks ever, explaining how happiness is synthesized, not found.

“Want to Be Happier? Stay in the Moment” – Matt Killingsworth (TED Talk)
Research shows that mind-wandering makes us less happy — happiness is in being here now.

“What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness” – Robert Waldinger (TED Talk)
The Harvard Study of Adult Development found relationships and presence—not wealth—matter most.

Jay Shetty – “You’ll Never Be Happy If You Do This…”
Excellent short YouTube videos on chasing goals that don’t actually fulfill us.

Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things
Explores how owning less and doing less can actually bring more joy.

“The Happiness Advantage” – Shawn Achor (TEDx Talk)
Why happiness comes before success, not after — backed by research in positive psychology.

Research

Harvard Study of Adult Development
Longest longitudinal study on happiness: relationships matter more than money or success.
Summary TED Talk by Robert Waldinger

Matt Killingsworth’s Real-Time Happiness Research
Found that people are happiest when fully present, not when achieving or planning.
(Published in Science, 2010)

Daniel Kahneman’s Studies on “Experienced vs Remembered” Happiness
Nobel-winning psychologist showing how we misjudge what actually brings contentment.