These articles are part of the One in a Million platform — a space for real, soul-to-soul connection. They’re here to support the deeper conversations I have with people one-on-one. Through mentorship, friendship, and real-time companionship, I offer a place to talk, reflect, and walk beside you on your journey. Each article is meant to spark reflection, open dialogue, and gently support you as part of the larger experience at oneinamillion.me.
This is the realm of longing — of reaching outward for something to soothe the inner emptiness. Whether it’s substances, people, validation, or achievement, the hunger comes from a deeper place of disconnection. At its root, addiction is not weakness but a signal — a signal that something inside is in pain and looking for relief. In this state, the self becomes entangled with desire, grasping for what cannot truly satisfy.
Reach out if your Feeling This.
Don’t do this alone.
I’ve been here and it’s far from fun! I don’t want you to do this alone, we don’t have to find the answers right now but just by talking it can help you feel stronger to navigate forward and I’ll be there to walk with you. Please reach out, its so much easier doing with with someone to talk to, trust me I’ve been there.
Hold on In There, You are not alone in how you feel here……
This is the state of grasping. A hunger that never quite gets full. A need that loops. Whether it’s food, a person, a substance, a screen — the craving promises relief, escape, or comfort. But it rarely delivers more than a moment.
This is not about pleasure. It’s about soothing pain. It’s trying to fill a void — a longing for connection, meaning, peace, or power — using things that temporarily numb but don’t nourish.
Addiction is not a failure. It’s not weakness. It’s an adaptation. It’s the body and brain trying to self-regulate — often born from trauma, loneliness, neglect, or chronic dysregulation. The compulsion is often the echo of a deeper unmet need.
Psychological Insight:
Craving states activate the dopaminergic system — the reward and anticipation loop. But over time, this loop gets hijacked. The object of craving becomes less about pleasure and more about relief from discomfort.
Neurologically, the brain becomes wired for the cycle: trigger → craving → use → guilt → trigger. And underneath this loop is often emotional pain, shame, or a sense of emptiness. The craving is not the problem — it’s a signal of an unmet need.
The key is not to fight the craving but to understand what it’s trying to resolve. What is the craving a substitute for?
“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
— Samuel Johnson
SELF-SOOTHING FROM CRAVING, ADDICTION, & COMPULSION
Mini-Process: Questions + Rant Builder
Self-Soothing Questions:
These questions act like emotional breadcrumbs — they can gently accept how you are feeling now while guiding you toward a slightly higher perspective.
What am I really craving right now?
What feeling am I trying to escape or soothe?
What need is this habit trying to meet?
When do I usually feel this urge? What’s the pattern?
What would it feel like to sit with the craving without reacting?
Can I ride this wave for 10 minutes without giving in?
What could I give myself instead — something nourishing?
Self-Soothing Rant:
Talk to yourself as if you are your best friend, someone who cares. These sentences can be read silently to yourself. They can help you start to form your own sentences, your own self talk. Keep this momentum going, follow on from the ideas and start to create your own self rant talk, let the ideas flow, and if they don’t come, just keep reading these.
“I feel the craving. It’s strong. It’s real. But I know it’s not about the thing. It’s about the ache inside me.”
“This isn’t weakness — it’s survival. My body and mind are trying to protect me from pain. They’ve learned a pattern, but that pattern no longer serves me.”
“I can pause. I don’t have to act. I can breathe. I can wait 10 minutes. I can let this wave rise and fall.”
“I’m not broken for wanting comfort. I’m not bad for wanting escape. But I don’t need to abandon myself to cope.”
“Maybe I can move. Maybe I can cry. Maybe I can write. Maybe I can scream. Maybe I can drink a glass of water and remember I’m still here.”
“I am safe. I am learning to be here for myself. I am growing new pathways — slowly, gently. Even this craving is a part of the path. It’s not the end. It’s just a signal. And I am learning to answer it with love instead of looping.”
“If I win this battle, the next battle will be a little easier to win also, if I lose this one the next battle will be harder to win, if I set myself up now I’m on a winning streak, if I lose this one I’m on a losing streak…..I want to set myself up to win the next battle so if I fight hard for this one the next one will be that little bit easier because I’ve started on the path of the winning streak…….I can win one battle at a time, I can win this one single one, the first one and that will set me on the winning streak path as opposed to the losing streak path, so just one battle at a time…..I can do this.”
Keep going with your own inner voice. Keep reasoning your way into a space with more light. Keep speaking—let the sentences come to you freely. You are what you’ve been looking for. You can do this. Let your soul be your guide and your light. You are empowering yourself now to be your own guide, your own strength, your own light. You’re uncovering the most valuable thing you could ever discover: your true self. So work with this—don’t give up, my friend. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself: finding your way through this darkness, this rock bottom. Believe in your inner light. You can do this. Keep self-ranting, keep self-soothing.
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
— Johann Hari
Reach out if your Feeling this.
I’ve been here and it’s something that I don’t want for you to have to do alone. Please reach out it just takes one single text or message.
One in a Million 
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